This is a collection of stories and articles created by writer / artist Holly Dare. All materials, including photographs, on this blog are copyright protected and are the sole property of the writer or original publisher. Do not steal intellectual material!
Showing posts with label The Old Codger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Old Codger. Show all posts

Sunday, September 1, 2002

The Old Codger - September 02

The Old Codger was a series written by the publisher of the Foothill Sentinel and was usually an opinion piece written in the voice of an elderly complainer. I filled in for the Codger on several occasions.

I got me some new neighbors who are keen on blastin’ the radio and it got me to thinkin’ bout bein’ neighborly and noise. When I get home, I don’t want to hear another soul, and darnit, shouldn’t have to!

Noise is the reason I moved to our foothills. I usta have a family whose idear of a family barbeque was 50 people. Them folks ‘ould come round bout 4 and cook, laugh and sang Opera into the wee hours. I had to leave for work about an hour after they shut up! They did dat ever day!
‘cross da street, they was a gangster hopeful who would blast that awful rap music and pace back n forth in front of his house cursing into a cell phone. What’s wrong wit his regular phone? Why did I hafta to hear all those curse words??

I got me a friend dat had a rock ‘n roller fer a neighbor dat would practice his music so loud, the winders rattled. Next door was a family who allowed their children to bounce a dern basketball, screaming at the top their lungs until midnight ‘ cause “that’s when children are supposed to go to bed.” In my day, chil’ren went to bed early to get enough sleep for school and what the heck are they screamin’ fer anyway? Why, my mama, God rest her soul, put the fear of God into me with just a look all fer raising my voice above a whisper.

So I called up Foothill Station of the LAPD and asked about noise. The desk officer there said, “ It doesn’t matter what time of day it is or exactly how loud someone is. If it’s bothering someone else, you are in violation of the law. Furthermore, if we are called out to the same location repeatedly, we can take the television, radio or even the musical instruments away.” This means, if yer too loud, yer too loud - period.

This nasty behavior has come here to da Foothills and I just don’t like it! Needless to say, my idea of a good neighbor is one ya don’t see but especially ya don’t hear. I’ve had folks tell me it is their right to play their music as loud as they want. Not so. See dem trees ova dere?? That’s where my right to peace and quiet begins. Besides, what makes ya think you’re da Disc Jockey fer the whole neighborhood? All you folks who blast your music aught to be hogtied and forced to listen to chil'ren’s singalongs for 12 hours straight!

Thursday, August 1, 2002

The Old Codger - August 02

The Old Codger was a series written by the publisher of the Foothill Sentinel and was usually an opinion piece written in the voice of an elderly complainer. I filled in for the Codger on several occasions.


The 5th of July, I was in two different parks. Let me tell ya, I was amazed at all them cans just laying about. 3 feet from a trash can, some of em were! My friend, he even seen a woman hiding a can in bushes with a trash bucket in throwin distance! Was that too fer to walk?? There was so many cans, why, I coulda got rich if I coulda bent over to pick ‘em up!

I noticed another thing in parks. Lots of folks just dump burning charcoal at the bottom of a tree. What if that tree catch on fire?? In case ya don’t know, it’s fire season. Make sure ya pour some water on the coals is out before ya dump em. O.K?

Parks are fer everbody! I don’t like havin to clean up somebody else’s mess when I go there. So, pick up afta youself, ya hear? I better not be findin’ a mess on the day after Labor Day!