The Old Codger was a series written by the publisher of the Foothill Sentinel and was usually an opinion piece written in the voice of an elderly complainer. I filled in for the Codger on several occasions.
I got me some new neighbors who are keen on blastin’ the radio and it got me to thinkin’ bout bein’ neighborly and noise. When I get home, I don’t want to hear another soul, and darnit, shouldn’t have to!
Noise is the reason I moved to our foothills. I usta have a family whose idear of a family barbeque was 50 people. Them folks ‘ould come round bout 4 and cook, laugh and sang Opera into the wee hours. I had to leave for work about an hour after they shut up! They did dat ever day!
‘cross da street, they was a gangster hopeful who would blast that awful rap music and pace back n forth in front of his house cursing into a cell phone. What’s wrong wit his regular phone? Why did I hafta to hear all those curse words??
I got me a friend dat had a rock ‘n roller fer a neighbor dat would practice his music so loud, the winders rattled. Next door was a family who allowed their children to bounce a dern basketball, screaming at the top their lungs until midnight ‘ cause “that’s when children are supposed to go to bed.” In my day, chil’ren went to bed early to get enough sleep for school and what the heck are they screamin’ fer anyway? Why, my mama, God rest her soul, put the fear of God into me with just a look all fer raising my voice above a whisper.
So I called up Foothill Station of the LAPD and asked about noise. The desk officer there said, “ It doesn’t matter what time of day it is or exactly how loud someone is. If it’s bothering someone else, you are in violation of the law. Furthermore, if we are called out to the same location repeatedly, we can take the television, radio or even the musical instruments away.” This means, if yer too loud, yer too loud - period.
This nasty behavior has come here to da Foothills and I just don’t like it! Needless to say, my idea of a good neighbor is one ya don’t see but especially ya don’t hear. I’ve had folks tell me it is their right to play their music as loud as they want. Not so. See dem trees ova dere?? That’s where my right to peace and quiet begins. Besides, what makes ya think you’re da Disc Jockey fer the whole neighborhood? All you folks who blast your music aught to be hogtied and forced to listen to chil'ren’s singalongs for 12 hours straight!
Sunday, September 1, 2002
Dear Aunt Sister - September 2002
When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.
Aunt Sister:
I get so mad at people who just walk up and barge into conversations. The other day I was having an important conversation and this woman just walked up and started talking to the person I was talking to. I even said, "Excuse me, but you're interrupting." She completely ignored me and just kept talking to the other person. How do you handle people like this? Are they really just thick-headed and rude, or do they just think they're more important than everyone else?
Annoyed
Dear Annoyed,
Yes dear, they ARE just thick-headed and rude. It makes me wish it were acceptable to carry around duct tape to shut the traps of the offensive party. However, you know the old saying, "Do unto others..." Well, I would simply pat the thick-headed one on the arm and say, "Oh, I'm ssoooo sorry. I'm interrupting you. How rude of me!" And then, I would turn on my heels and wander off to greener pastures. Hopefully, the thick-headed one got the message. If not, you've at least had a little fun at their expense.
***************************************
Dear Aunt Sister,
My friend's husband sometimes makes advances toward me, especially when he's been drinking. It's nothing really obvious that I can make a fuss over. He might stand too close, or keep complimenting me about how good I look, or kind of follow me around. What should I do?
Embarrassed
My Dear Embarrassed,
What a predicament. You can’t exactly follow your friend around and hope she will intervene on your behalf. As my dear mother used to say, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.” You need to socialize somewhere else. If this is not the solution you were hoping for… learn to take a compliment and keep backing up.
Aunt Sister:
I get so mad at people who just walk up and barge into conversations. The other day I was having an important conversation and this woman just walked up and started talking to the person I was talking to. I even said, "Excuse me, but you're interrupting." She completely ignored me and just kept talking to the other person. How do you handle people like this? Are they really just thick-headed and rude, or do they just think they're more important than everyone else?
Annoyed
Dear Annoyed,
Yes dear, they ARE just thick-headed and rude. It makes me wish it were acceptable to carry around duct tape to shut the traps of the offensive party. However, you know the old saying, "Do unto others..." Well, I would simply pat the thick-headed one on the arm and say, "Oh, I'm ssoooo sorry. I'm interrupting you. How rude of me!" And then, I would turn on my heels and wander off to greener pastures. Hopefully, the thick-headed one got the message. If not, you've at least had a little fun at their expense.
***************************************
Dear Aunt Sister,
My friend's husband sometimes makes advances toward me, especially when he's been drinking. It's nothing really obvious that I can make a fuss over. He might stand too close, or keep complimenting me about how good I look, or kind of follow me around. What should I do?
Embarrassed
My Dear Embarrassed,
What a predicament. You can’t exactly follow your friend around and hope she will intervene on your behalf. As my dear mother used to say, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.” You need to socialize somewhere else. If this is not the solution you were hoping for… learn to take a compliment and keep backing up.
Thursday, August 1, 2002
The Old Codger - August 02
The Old Codger was a series written by the publisher of the Foothill Sentinel and was usually an opinion piece written in the voice of an elderly complainer. I filled in for the Codger on several occasions.
The 5th of July, I was in two different parks. Let me tell ya, I was amazed at all them cans just laying about. 3 feet from a trash can, some of em were! My friend, he even seen a woman hiding a can in bushes with a trash bucket in throwin distance! Was that too fer to walk?? There was so many cans, why, I coulda got rich if I coulda bent over to pick ‘em up!
I noticed another thing in parks. Lots of folks just dump burning charcoal at the bottom of a tree. What if that tree catch on fire?? In case ya don’t know, it’s fire season. Make sure ya pour some water on the coals is out before ya dump em. O.K?
Parks are fer everbody! I don’t like havin to clean up somebody else’s mess when I go there. So, pick up afta youself, ya hear? I better not be findin’ a mess on the day after Labor Day!
The 5th of July, I was in two different parks. Let me tell ya, I was amazed at all them cans just laying about. 3 feet from a trash can, some of em were! My friend, he even seen a woman hiding a can in bushes with a trash bucket in throwin distance! Was that too fer to walk?? There was so many cans, why, I coulda got rich if I coulda bent over to pick ‘em up!
I noticed another thing in parks. Lots of folks just dump burning charcoal at the bottom of a tree. What if that tree catch on fire?? In case ya don’t know, it’s fire season. Make sure ya pour some water on the coals is out before ya dump em. O.K?
Parks are fer everbody! I don’t like havin to clean up somebody else’s mess when I go there. So, pick up afta youself, ya hear? I better not be findin’ a mess on the day after Labor Day!
Dear Aunt Sister - August 2002
When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.
Dear Aunt Sister,
We have a piano and an electric organ in our living room that cost over $1000.00 back when I made a dollar an hour. When children come to visit, they seem to think that these are toys. I keep art supplies on hand but they still seem to bang away. Do you have any suggestions?
S/T Music Lover
Dear Music Lover,
I too have this problem as my dear husband plays the piano. He would always allow the wee ones to “bang away” saying that the old girl needed to be played more often. I did check with a former concert pianist friend of mine and she had the same philosophy. A piano must be played to stay in shape and a child’s way of playing is no different than some forceful musical pieces. But keep in mind, most better pianos come with a lock. If yours does not, have one installed.
As for the organ, have you tried unplugging it?
Dear Aunt Sister,
We have a piano and an electric organ in our living room that cost over $1000.00 back when I made a dollar an hour. When children come to visit, they seem to think that these are toys. I keep art supplies on hand but they still seem to bang away. Do you have any suggestions?
S/T Music Lover
Dear Music Lover,
I too have this problem as my dear husband plays the piano. He would always allow the wee ones to “bang away” saying that the old girl needed to be played more often. I did check with a former concert pianist friend of mine and she had the same philosophy. A piano must be played to stay in shape and a child’s way of playing is no different than some forceful musical pieces. But keep in mind, most better pianos come with a lock. If yours does not, have one installed.
As for the organ, have you tried unplugging it?
Monday, July 1, 2002
Dear Aunt Sister - July 02
When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.
Dear Aunt Sister,
Recently I noticed that my husband has taken an interest in the way he looks. He has started lifting weights to 'tone up'. I ask him why he is suddenly so into his looks, he says that he is getting older and thought he would try to recapture a little of his youth. He has never given me a reason to doubt his love for me and he has always been attentive during all 25 years of marriage. However, he does stay later at the office than he used to and makes several trips -- some unnecessary -- to the stores. My question is, should I be suspicious? In the Dark in Shadow Hills.
Dear Dark,
I must admit that I too would be suspicious of your man’s new interest in his body and “work.” His behavior could be totally innocent – or not. You said that you trust him. But, trust need not be blind (or stupid for that matter!) I would check his cell phone bill. They usually itemize every call. This is a simple way of checking up on him without him knowing. If you find something, confront him. If not, start going to the gym with him and tone up yourself! That should keep his attentions directed toward home.
Dear Aunt Sister,
Recently I noticed that my husband has taken an interest in the way he looks. He has started lifting weights to 'tone up'. I ask him why he is suddenly so into his looks, he says that he is getting older and thought he would try to recapture a little of his youth. He has never given me a reason to doubt his love for me and he has always been attentive during all 25 years of marriage. However, he does stay later at the office than he used to and makes several trips -- some unnecessary -- to the stores. My question is, should I be suspicious? In the Dark in Shadow Hills.
Dear Dark,
I must admit that I too would be suspicious of your man’s new interest in his body and “work.” His behavior could be totally innocent – or not. You said that you trust him. But, trust need not be blind (or stupid for that matter!) I would check his cell phone bill. They usually itemize every call. This is a simple way of checking up on him without him knowing. If you find something, confront him. If not, start going to the gym with him and tone up yourself! That should keep his attentions directed toward home.
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