Dear Aunt Sister - July '03

When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.

Dear Aunt Sister,

I have a friend who sees movies the second they come out. It annoys me when she tells me the plot of a film I want to see.

I ask her not to, but she keeps right on going. I hardly even go to the movies anymore because of my friend. What can I do to keep her from spilling the beans about every movie that comes out?

Sign me,

Why bother?


Dear friend,

The question should ask is why are you happy with a friend who doesn’t take your request seriously.
Here’s what you can do: When your friend tries to mention a film you haven’t seen, plug your ears and start singing very loud! That should shut the bean spiller up quickly.


Dear Aunt Sister,

My mother had a stroke recently. It is so much work to care for her around the clock. But that’s not what I’m writing about. A family friend stops by several times a week. She does not go into Mom’s room to visit with her. She does not do a load of wash or bring groceries or ask if there is anything I need.
She does show up at lunch time, expects me to prepare her a meal and doesn’t even thank me. She says she “just wanted to stop by and support me during this difficult time.”
Aunt Sister, just what is “support?”

Confused Caregiver

Dear Caregiver,

You are right to question the meaning of support. Many out there do not get it.
Folks tell me they support The Sentinel, but when questioned on how they do that, they respond that they read the paper.
How is picking up a free paper support?
In your situation, your friend may think she is giving you emotional support, when in fact she is causing you stress. If you can’t simply tell her how you feel, give her something to do. When she arrives, ask her to pick up the living room, visit with your mother or prepare lunch for you and your mother.. And, if she does do something, don’t forget to thank her for her support.