Dear Aunt Sister - April 03

When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.

Dear Aunt Sister,

All this sentimentality about Mother's Day makes me sick. I know a lot of mothers who shouldn't be mothers the way they treat their kids. So why are we telling them how wonderful they are, when they're not?

Disillusioned

Dear Disillusioned,

I understand exactly what you mean. Years ago, I was in a restaurant with a couple who had a toddler. He was hungry and wanted his bottle but his mother would place it just out of reach. The baby would reach and stretch and then, give up. His mother would move it closer. When he finally could grasp it, she would slap his hands.

This memory stands out for me for two reasons: 1) I had never seen anyone is deliberately abusive to such a small child. 2) That child did not even cry – which tells me he was used to it. How sad that even mothers like this are celebrated with cards and gifts on Mother’s Day.

It’s a shame that one gets elected to lifetime membership in the motherhood “club” simply by giving birth. Unfortunately, while we live in a society that that mandates tests for everything from driving to citizenship, the only test you must pass to become a mother is biological. All I can offer you as an answer is celebrate those who deserve it. Pray for the others.



Dear Aunt Sister,

Help! My family is ready to move out of our dream house because of our next door neighbor, “Judy.” Judy is so nosey. She constantly calls with such personal questions as, “Where did you go so late last night?” or “Whose car is that in your driveway? I don’t recognize it.” Judy is constantly in our business. Four other neighbors have moved because of this woman!

Aunt Sister, I love my house but I feel abused by this woman. What do I do?

Packing


Dear Packing,

What do you do? Start by growing a backbone, girl! As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” You allow this woman to invade your privacy. You have the power stop it!

Judy craves information; give her none. Be as vague as possible. Or, answer her with questions of your own – in your very sweetest voice, of course. Try “Why on earth would you ask such a thing?” or “Why do you want to know?” That should get you’re your point across.