When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.
Dear Aunt Sister,
All this sentimentality about Mother's Day makes me sick. I know a lot of mothers who shouldn't be mothers the way they treat their kids. So why are we telling them how wonderful they are, when they're not?
Disillusioned
Dear Disillusioned,
I understand exactly what you mean. Years ago, I was in a restaurant with a couple who had a toddler. He was hungry and wanted his bottle but his mother would place it just out of reach. The baby would reach and stretch and then, give up. His mother would move it closer. When he finally could grasp it, she would slap his hands.
This memory stands out for me for two reasons: 1) I had never seen anyone is deliberately abusive to such a small child. 2) That child did not even cry – which tells me he was used to it. How sad that even mothers like this are celebrated with cards and gifts on Mother’s Day.
It’s a shame that one gets elected to lifetime membership in the motherhood “club” simply by giving birth. Unfortunately, while we live in a society that that mandates tests for everything from driving to citizenship, the only test you must pass to become a mother is biological. All I can offer you as an answer is celebrate those who deserve it. Pray for the others.
Dear Aunt Sister,
Help! My family is ready to move out of our dream house because of our next door neighbor, “Judy.” Judy is so nosey. She constantly calls with such personal questions as, “Where did you go so late last night?” or “Whose car is that in your driveway? I don’t recognize it.” Judy is constantly in our business. Four other neighbors have moved because of this woman!
Aunt Sister, I love my house but I feel abused by this woman. What do I do?
Packing
Dear Packing,
What do you do? Start by growing a backbone, girl! As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” You allow this woman to invade your privacy. You have the power stop it!
Judy craves information; give her none. Be as vague as possible. Or, answer her with questions of your own – in your very sweetest voice, of course. Try “Why on earth would you ask such a thing?” or “Why do you want to know?” That should get you’re your point across.
Tuesday, April 1, 2003
Saturday, March 1, 2003
Dear Aunt Sister - March '03
When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.
Dear Aunt Sister,
I have a neighbor who picks flowers from my yard. She never asks if she can have them. Sometimes she even pulls up a whole plant.
Other than this, we are on good terms. I don’t really want to confront her, but I do want her to stop.
Bloomin’ Mad
Dear Bloom,
This is a problem in our fair city. I have even heard our merchants complain of people taking entire plants! Once, I had a neighbor put a small coffee can in her front garden with a sign reading “Flowers $1.00.” Her problem did diminish but never quite went away.
It is a frustrating problem. The one who expends the time, effort and money to maintain a garden should be the one to enjoy the garden. With this in mind, why don’t you start watering your garden with your neighbor’s hose? You will only have to do this a few times before she gets the message.
***********
Dear Aunt Sister
My neighbor has the saddest dog you'd ever want to see. He gets feed regularly but that's about it. They don't play with him or pay any attention to him. Why do people have animals if they don't care about them?
Sad
Dear Sad,
I would suggest that you learn the dog’s name. Talk to him through the fence using his name every chance you get. If you know your neighbors, ask if you can walk him. And if you get the sense that they really don’t want the animal, maybe you could take him in or offer to find him a good home.
Considering that people raise their children the same way these days, what do you expect? We live in a time where everyone is so busy and self-centered. They race around all day and yet want some sort of family life when they get home. They adopt animals without thinking about what kind of life the poor creatures will have. But you can make a difference in this dog’s life if you take action.
Dear Aunt Sister,
I have a neighbor who picks flowers from my yard. She never asks if she can have them. Sometimes she even pulls up a whole plant.
Other than this, we are on good terms. I don’t really want to confront her, but I do want her to stop.
Bloomin’ Mad
Dear Bloom,
This is a problem in our fair city. I have even heard our merchants complain of people taking entire plants! Once, I had a neighbor put a small coffee can in her front garden with a sign reading “Flowers $1.00.” Her problem did diminish but never quite went away.
It is a frustrating problem. The one who expends the time, effort and money to maintain a garden should be the one to enjoy the garden. With this in mind, why don’t you start watering your garden with your neighbor’s hose? You will only have to do this a few times before she gets the message.
***********
Dear Aunt Sister
My neighbor has the saddest dog you'd ever want to see. He gets feed regularly but that's about it. They don't play with him or pay any attention to him. Why do people have animals if they don't care about them?
Sad
Dear Sad,
I would suggest that you learn the dog’s name. Talk to him through the fence using his name every chance you get. If you know your neighbors, ask if you can walk him. And if you get the sense that they really don’t want the animal, maybe you could take him in or offer to find him a good home.
Considering that people raise their children the same way these days, what do you expect? We live in a time where everyone is so busy and self-centered. They race around all day and yet want some sort of family life when they get home. They adopt animals without thinking about what kind of life the poor creatures will have. But you can make a difference in this dog’s life if you take action.
Saturday, February 1, 2003
Dear Aunt Sister - February '03
When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.
Dear Aunt Sister,
I have wonderful husband who is attentive and loving. My only complaint? I can’t seem to get him to remember Valentine’s Day. Should I let him off the hook for always forgetting this special day?
No Heart-Shaped Candy for Me
Dear Heart,
Maybe he’s just forgetful. Try dropping a few hints as the day approaches.
You have really NO complaint. There are many women out there who would treasure such an attentive and loving man. You should count your blessings. Besides, think of all the calories he’s saving you.
*************************
Dear Aunt Sister,
I have been dating my boyfriend for five years. I want an engagement ring more than anything for Valentine’s Day. How do I get him to pop the question?
Thanks, Anxious Lady In Waiting
P.S. I’m 38 and he’s 40
Dear Lady,
If you’ve been with this man for five years, you should be more than comfortable asking what his intentions are. However, I think you should be asking yourself why you’ve spent five years just “dating” the same man.
Honey, at your age, it’s time to fish or cut bait. Tell him what you want and when you want it. If he doesn’t deliver, move on and don’t look back.
Dear Aunt Sister,
I have wonderful husband who is attentive and loving. My only complaint? I can’t seem to get him to remember Valentine’s Day. Should I let him off the hook for always forgetting this special day?
No Heart-Shaped Candy for Me
Dear Heart,
Maybe he’s just forgetful. Try dropping a few hints as the day approaches.
You have really NO complaint. There are many women out there who would treasure such an attentive and loving man. You should count your blessings. Besides, think of all the calories he’s saving you.
*************************
Dear Aunt Sister,
I have been dating my boyfriend for five years. I want an engagement ring more than anything for Valentine’s Day. How do I get him to pop the question?
Thanks, Anxious Lady In Waiting
P.S. I’m 38 and he’s 40
Dear Lady,
If you’ve been with this man for five years, you should be more than comfortable asking what his intentions are. However, I think you should be asking yourself why you’ve spent five years just “dating” the same man.
Honey, at your age, it’s time to fish or cut bait. Tell him what you want and when you want it. If he doesn’t deliver, move on and don’t look back.
Wednesday, January 1, 2003
Dear Aunt Sister - January 03
When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.
Dear Aunt Sister,
Yet another Christmas has come and, once again, I have received another sweater that I will never wear. I haven’t worn sweaters since I was in grade school (many years ago). I would take it back to the store, but I know the person who gave it to me would be offended. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Hot blooded
Dear Hot,
It seems there are a lot of people who buy gifts just to have something, anything to give. They are only giving you something to make themselves feel good. I find such grievous gift giving TACKY, TACKY, TACKY! They obviously didn’t care what you thought or they wouldn’t have been so careless choosing your gift. Why do you care so much about offending them? You should take the gift back. How will the present giver ever know if you don’t tell?
*************************
Dear Aunt Sister,
Every New Years, I make my resolutions and they are all broken by the end of the week! What can I do to make me stick to my resolutions?
Perplexed
Dear Perplexed,
Why don’t you make a resolution to keep your resolutions?
Just kidding, dear.
I find that lists work for me. I will make several lists and post them everywhere: On the bathroom mirror, the fridge, by my favorite chair. By keeping my goals where I can see them in black in white, it reminds me daily to stay focused on them.
If this doesn’t work, maybe you need to ask yourself why the resolutions you are making are not that important to you.
Dear Aunt Sister,
Yet another Christmas has come and, once again, I have received another sweater that I will never wear. I haven’t worn sweaters since I was in grade school (many years ago). I would take it back to the store, but I know the person who gave it to me would be offended. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Hot blooded
Dear Hot,
It seems there are a lot of people who buy gifts just to have something, anything to give. They are only giving you something to make themselves feel good. I find such grievous gift giving TACKY, TACKY, TACKY! They obviously didn’t care what you thought or they wouldn’t have been so careless choosing your gift. Why do you care so much about offending them? You should take the gift back. How will the present giver ever know if you don’t tell?
*************************
Dear Aunt Sister,
Every New Years, I make my resolutions and they are all broken by the end of the week! What can I do to make me stick to my resolutions?
Perplexed
Dear Perplexed,
Why don’t you make a resolution to keep your resolutions?
Just kidding, dear.
I find that lists work for me. I will make several lists and post them everywhere: On the bathroom mirror, the fridge, by my favorite chair. By keeping my goals where I can see them in black in white, it reminds me daily to stay focused on them.
If this doesn’t work, maybe you need to ask yourself why the resolutions you are making are not that important to you.
Sunday, December 1, 2002
Dear Aunt Sister - December 2002
When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.
Dear Aunt Sister,
I have a friend who I’ll call Sue. I have treasured her friendship for many years. Sue recently stopped calling and returning phone calls. I ran into her at a social event and asked her what was going on. Sue told me she’s tired of my asking her advice and then not following it. This friend means a lot to me. What can I do?
Flabergasted
Dear Friend,
What Sue is failing to realize is that when we ask our friends for advice, it is a way of exploring options. It is impossible for you to follow Sue’s advice to the letter because you are NOT Sue!
If you feel the friendship is salvageable, find a way to let her know how her advice has helped you to solve some of your problems, but tell her, too, that you need to do what is right for you. But before you do, ask yourself why you want to be friends with someone who doesn’t want you to make your own decisions.
*************************************************************
HELP! Christmas is coming and our kids want so much. It’s not that we mind buying for them, but why does the fat guy in the red suit have to get all the credit?
Under-appreciated Mom & Dad
Dear Mom and Dad,
It is up to you to help yourself, but let me give you an idea. In our family, St. Nick brings every child three (and ONLY three) gifts: Something they need, something they want, and something “just because.” The theory behind the three gifts gives parents the opportunity to remind children why we celebrate Christmas in the first place. That was the number of presents the Christ child got. Every other gift comes from someone the child knows and can thank properly.
We work hard idea - why does the fat guy in the red suit have to get all the credit?
Now, as for the reference to my dear friend Santa’s weight, a subject about which he is very sensitive: You’re going to end up on his Naughty List. You better be writing to him to apologize or you’re going get coal in your stocking!
Dear Aunt Sister,
I have a friend who I’ll call Sue. I have treasured her friendship for many years. Sue recently stopped calling and returning phone calls. I ran into her at a social event and asked her what was going on. Sue told me she’s tired of my asking her advice and then not following it. This friend means a lot to me. What can I do?
Flabergasted
Dear Friend,
What Sue is failing to realize is that when we ask our friends for advice, it is a way of exploring options. It is impossible for you to follow Sue’s advice to the letter because you are NOT Sue!
If you feel the friendship is salvageable, find a way to let her know how her advice has helped you to solve some of your problems, but tell her, too, that you need to do what is right for you. But before you do, ask yourself why you want to be friends with someone who doesn’t want you to make your own decisions.
*************************************************************
HELP! Christmas is coming and our kids want so much. It’s not that we mind buying for them, but why does the fat guy in the red suit have to get all the credit?
Under-appreciated Mom & Dad
Dear Mom and Dad,
It is up to you to help yourself, but let me give you an idea. In our family, St. Nick brings every child three (and ONLY three) gifts: Something they need, something they want, and something “just because.” The theory behind the three gifts gives parents the opportunity to remind children why we celebrate Christmas in the first place. That was the number of presents the Christ child got. Every other gift comes from someone the child knows and can thank properly.
We work hard idea - why does the fat guy in the red suit have to get all the credit?
Now, as for the reference to my dear friend Santa’s weight, a subject about which he is very sensitive: You’re going to end up on his Naughty List. You better be writing to him to apologize or you’re going get coal in your stocking!
Friday, November 1, 2002
Patrick Dempsey Wins Senior Long Drive World Finals
Published in the Foothill Sentinel, November 2002.
The roar of the crowd was deafening as Patrick Dempsey, crowd favorite and Sunland resident, hit the winning drive straight down the middle of the grid on Saturday October 19. The RE/MAX World Long Drive Golf Finals were held in Mesquite, NV and Dempsey had won over the 4000 strong crowd earlier in the evening with his beautiful voice by singing the national anthem and God Bless the U.S.A. The whole crowd was on edge as Dempsey had hit four of his six allotted golf balls out of bounds. But his fifth ball was absolutely perfect, landing 342 yards from the tee and the only ball he put on the grid that evening. But, it only takes one to win.
It was a picture perfect ending to the years of hard work Dempsey has put in to master his sport. “I felt pretty good going in… I knew I was physically ready. I just have to master the mental strain of competition.”
The mental strain had weighed heavily on every competitor with many upsets in all the divisions: numerous title-holders did not even make the finals. Dempsey added to his stress by volunteering to sing for the opening ceremonies. “I don’t know what I was thinking. It’s not like I didn’t have enough pressure already!” Dempsey exclaimed.
Pat Dempsey had come on strong in the first round qualifiers on Friday by hitting the ball 356 yards – the longest drive of the day! He easily won his second round with a 330 yard ball. The pressure built as he competed in Semi Final Round. Dempsey hit his first two balls out of bounds and his third only traveled to 325 yards – he needed to hit a 327 to oust an earlier hitter from finals. The fourth ball also traveled out of play. However, the fifth hit was the charm as he pounded the ball 346 yards for a chance at the $23,000 purse.
It is Dempsey’s rookie year in the Senior Long Drive Division, having won sixth place in the Open Division last year. Upon hitting the winning ball, he was asked why he wanted to move to the Senior Division. “I wanted to compete in this division because it’s tough. This is the most underrated and competitive division in sports.” It was the only Long Drive Division with big name players in the finals including Dempsey; three time Senior champ, Mike Hooper (Culver City); Bobby Wilson (Texas) and Scott DeCandia (Maryland), both Long Drivers of America Hall of Fame players; and the 1999 Senior Division Champ, Fred Hooter (Alabama).
It was an amazing night for Dempsey as both Women’s and Open Division Champions also credited Dempsey for their wins! Stacey Shinnick of Escondido reminded Dempsey in front of reporters that she had watched him play at Hansen Dam and asked him about competing in Long Drive. He had encouraged her to give it a shot and she took home the $7,500 purse in her division.
But it was Open Division winner, Carl Wolter of Plymouth Meeting, PA that told the most amazing Pat Dempsey story. Wolter, a gifted athlete who only entered his first LDA event three months ago, found Dempsey on the internet and repeatedly called him for advice. When Wolter broke his club days before his district qualifier round, he called Dempsey in a panic: there were no clubs like his available for sale anywhere due to a manufacturing shortage. “Pat Dempsey shipped me his own personal club – that’s what I won my district with and that’s why I’m here,” Wolter said as he clutched his crystal trophy and oversize check for $80,000.
Dempsey shrugged off reporters queries on his incredible generosity by saying, “You never know when or how you’re going to touch someone’s life. I’m just glad I could help him.”
Patrick Dempsey is obviously a winner at Long Drive but he is also a winner in the game of life.
The roar of the crowd was deafening as Patrick Dempsey, crowd favorite and Sunland resident, hit the winning drive straight down the middle of the grid on Saturday October 19. The RE/MAX World Long Drive Golf Finals were held in Mesquite, NV and Dempsey had won over the 4000 strong crowd earlier in the evening with his beautiful voice by singing the national anthem and God Bless the U.S.A. The whole crowd was on edge as Dempsey had hit four of his six allotted golf balls out of bounds. But his fifth ball was absolutely perfect, landing 342 yards from the tee and the only ball he put on the grid that evening. But, it only takes one to win.
It was a picture perfect ending to the years of hard work Dempsey has put in to master his sport. “I felt pretty good going in… I knew I was physically ready. I just have to master the mental strain of competition.”
The mental strain had weighed heavily on every competitor with many upsets in all the divisions: numerous title-holders did not even make the finals. Dempsey added to his stress by volunteering to sing for the opening ceremonies. “I don’t know what I was thinking. It’s not like I didn’t have enough pressure already!” Dempsey exclaimed.
Pat Dempsey had come on strong in the first round qualifiers on Friday by hitting the ball 356 yards – the longest drive of the day! He easily won his second round with a 330 yard ball. The pressure built as he competed in Semi Final Round. Dempsey hit his first two balls out of bounds and his third only traveled to 325 yards – he needed to hit a 327 to oust an earlier hitter from finals. The fourth ball also traveled out of play. However, the fifth hit was the charm as he pounded the ball 346 yards for a chance at the $23,000 purse.
It is Dempsey’s rookie year in the Senior Long Drive Division, having won sixth place in the Open Division last year. Upon hitting the winning ball, he was asked why he wanted to move to the Senior Division. “I wanted to compete in this division because it’s tough. This is the most underrated and competitive division in sports.” It was the only Long Drive Division with big name players in the finals including Dempsey; three time Senior champ, Mike Hooper (Culver City); Bobby Wilson (Texas) and Scott DeCandia (Maryland), both Long Drivers of America Hall of Fame players; and the 1999 Senior Division Champ, Fred Hooter (Alabama).
It was an amazing night for Dempsey as both Women’s and Open Division Champions also credited Dempsey for their wins! Stacey Shinnick of Escondido reminded Dempsey in front of reporters that she had watched him play at Hansen Dam and asked him about competing in Long Drive. He had encouraged her to give it a shot and she took home the $7,500 purse in her division.
But it was Open Division winner, Carl Wolter of Plymouth Meeting, PA that told the most amazing Pat Dempsey story. Wolter, a gifted athlete who only entered his first LDA event three months ago, found Dempsey on the internet and repeatedly called him for advice. When Wolter broke his club days before his district qualifier round, he called Dempsey in a panic: there were no clubs like his available for sale anywhere due to a manufacturing shortage. “Pat Dempsey shipped me his own personal club – that’s what I won my district with and that’s why I’m here,” Wolter said as he clutched his crystal trophy and oversize check for $80,000.
Dempsey shrugged off reporters queries on his incredible generosity by saying, “You never know when or how you’re going to touch someone’s life. I’m just glad I could help him.”
Patrick Dempsey is obviously a winner at Long Drive but he is also a winner in the game of life.
Dear Aunt Sister - November 2002
When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.
I'm in high school. There's this really cute guy in my class, and I really like him, but I don't think he even knows I exist. How can I get his attention?
Madly In Love
Dear Love,
I am so sorry to be the one to break this to you but, you ARE NOT in love. True love is based on honesty and really knowing someone. You cannot be in love with someone who doesn’t even know you exist.
That being said, I do know how you feel. When I was in high school, I had the most difficult time getting a young man to notice me. The thing that worked best was to just walk over and say hello to him. You have to remember guys are just as shy as girls. Why not be the one to break the ice first? After hello, tell him your name and mention something you have in common. And if the conversation doesn’t start rolling or you feel like a fool? DON’T! First, you showed real courage by talking to him. Someone who likes you will love that quality. If they don’t like you, they’re not worth your time!
And by the way, that young man from my high school days has been my dear husband for almost 60 years! And if you ask him, the thing he loves the most is that I once made a fool out of myself to get his attention!
I'm in high school. There's this really cute guy in my class, and I really like him, but I don't think he even knows I exist. How can I get his attention?
Madly In Love
Dear Love,
I am so sorry to be the one to break this to you but, you ARE NOT in love. True love is based on honesty and really knowing someone. You cannot be in love with someone who doesn’t even know you exist.
That being said, I do know how you feel. When I was in high school, I had the most difficult time getting a young man to notice me. The thing that worked best was to just walk over and say hello to him. You have to remember guys are just as shy as girls. Why not be the one to break the ice first? After hello, tell him your name and mention something you have in common. And if the conversation doesn’t start rolling or you feel like a fool? DON’T! First, you showed real courage by talking to him. Someone who likes you will love that quality. If they don’t like you, they’re not worth your time!
And by the way, that young man from my high school days has been my dear husband for almost 60 years! And if you ask him, the thing he loves the most is that I once made a fool out of myself to get his attention!
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