This is a collection of stories and articles created by writer / artist Holly Dare. All materials, including photographs, on this blog are copyright protected and are the sole property of the writer or original publisher. Do not steal intellectual material!

Sunday, November 30, 2003

Dear Aunt Sister - December 03

When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.

Dear Aunt Sister,

Christmas is approaching fast and our kids want so much. We work hard for everything we give them. Is it wrong to let them the fat guy in the red suit does it all?

Under-appreciated Mom & Dad



Dear Mom & Dad,

It is up to you to help yourself, but let me give you an idea. In our family, St. Nick brings every child three (and ONLY three) gifts: Something they need, something they want, and something “just because”. The theory behind the three gifts gives parents the opportunity to remind children why we celebrate Christmas in the first place. That was the number of presents the Christ child got. Every other gift comes from someone the child knows and can thank properly.

Now, as for the reference to my dear friend Santa’s weight, a subject about which he is very sensitive: You’re going to end up on his Naughty List. You better be writing to him to apologize or you’re going get coal in your stocking!

Wednesday, September 3, 2003

Dear Aunt Sister - September 03

When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.

Dear Aunt Sister,

I recently threw a party for a small group of people. They spilled food on my floor and left it there. Plates and cups were left all around the house and patio. Someone spilled a drink and made no effort to help clean it up.

I was taught to clean up after myself. What’s wrong with these people?

Tired of Partying with Pigs


Dear Hostess,

Not everyone was raised with the good manners you have. It sounds as if some of your friends were raised in a zoo! Unfortunately, all you can really do is continue to lead by example.
As hostess, you can let people know what you expect of them. As you serve them, tell them where the trash can is or where to leave the plates. Hand them extra napkins and say, “Just in case you spill…” Ease the burden by asking someone to stay and help clean up.

You also have the option of only inviting the neat ones next time. Let the “pig” wallow in his own mess.

Friday, August 1, 2003

Dear Aunt Sister - August 03

When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.

Dear Aunt Sister,

I read that article about misleading price signs at stores. That very same thing has happened to me. I complained to the sales clerk. She just shrugged and walked away. She didn’t even take the sign with the wrong price down. I was so disgusted, I left. It’s so frustrating, I wish I never had to go shopping there again. Unfortunately, this happens at many stores I shop at.
Aunt Sister, what should I do when this happens again? Why don’t these stores care about the image they present to the public?

Perplexed Shopper


Dear Shopper,

I too have thought I picked up a bargain only to be disappointed on checkout. However, when I feel the clerk doesn’t understand or will remedy the situation, I always ask for the manager. Once, I got an assistant manager who was actually very rude. I made a point to go back to that store and speak with the actual manager. Unfortunately, not many of us are not willing to spend the time it takes to be heard. But if you want satisfaction, you must be willing to spend the time, even if you have to figure out how to reach their corporate office.
As for why the stores don’t care about their image – maybe that would be a good question for the manager.



Dear Aunt Sister,

I have a neighbor that sunbathes in the nude. He put up a really tall fence around his property but I can still see him through the cracks. I think he should be ashamed at his indecency! What can I do to let him know this is a “nice” neighborhood and that he should swim in trunks?

No Birthday Suit for Me!

Dear Suit,

Nice neighborhood? Why hardly! Not with peeping toms like you around! Keep your eyeballs on your side of the fence before your neighbor has you arrested!

Tuesday, July 1, 2003

Dear Aunt Sister - July '03

When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.

Dear Aunt Sister,

I have a friend who sees movies the second they come out. It annoys me when she tells me the plot of a film I want to see.

I ask her not to, but she keeps right on going. I hardly even go to the movies anymore because of my friend. What can I do to keep her from spilling the beans about every movie that comes out?

Sign me,

Why bother?


Dear friend,

The question should ask is why are you happy with a friend who doesn’t take your request seriously.
Here’s what you can do: When your friend tries to mention a film you haven’t seen, plug your ears and start singing very loud! That should shut the bean spiller up quickly.


Dear Aunt Sister,

My mother had a stroke recently. It is so much work to care for her around the clock. But that’s not what I’m writing about. A family friend stops by several times a week. She does not go into Mom’s room to visit with her. She does not do a load of wash or bring groceries or ask if there is anything I need.
She does show up at lunch time, expects me to prepare her a meal and doesn’t even thank me. She says she “just wanted to stop by and support me during this difficult time.”
Aunt Sister, just what is “support?”

Confused Caregiver

Dear Caregiver,

You are right to question the meaning of support. Many out there do not get it.
Folks tell me they support The Sentinel, but when questioned on how they do that, they respond that they read the paper.
How is picking up a free paper support?
In your situation, your friend may think she is giving you emotional support, when in fact she is causing you stress. If you can’t simply tell her how you feel, give her something to do. When she arrives, ask her to pick up the living room, visit with your mother or prepare lunch for you and your mother.. And, if she does do something, don’t forget to thank her for her support.

Thursday, May 1, 2003

Dear Aunt Sister - May 03

When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.



Dear Aunt Sister,

My husband and I earn extra money by selling items online. We do very well with this. When my best friend asked me about our side business, I told her everything: how much we made, who our supplier was, etc. Last month, she and her husband beat us to our supplier and bought up the inventory we usually purchase and then sold the items online. I am furious with her! How do I get her to stop?

Lost out

Dear Lost,

Friendship is one thing; business is another. She’s not going to stop. Would you? You need to find another supplier or product and get busy.

You should be furious with yourself, not your friend! After all, you’re the one who spilled the beans! In the future, don’t be tempted to give away your “trade secrets.”

****************

Dear Aunt Sister:

Thank you for your column from "Blooming Mad" about missing flowers. Pretty sad that people take flowers without asking, however my situation is like that of the business owners on Foothill with regard to people stealing entire plants.

I moved here less than a year ago, the yard was mostly dirt and weeds. I've put so much work into beautifying my place, only to have someone come along and remove entire plants from the parkway and even from my front yard! This is really hard to handle when you personally invest time, money and your own sweat!

Little trails of dirt and petals were the only clue I had to go on until I actually spied the culprit very early one morning. She was gone from sight when I got outside but fortunately, a passerby happened to know where she lived. I went to the house and there adorning the front flowerbed were "my" plants!!!! I knocked on the door, explained the situation, and got to digging! I was able to retrieve most of my plants but since the smaller ones were now so big I told them I'd only take the bigger more expensive plants back. Getting some of them back made me feel a little triumphant! No more plants have disappeared, but I have to admit, I do drive by her house and look.

"The Lone Gardener"

Dear Gardener,

You are one gutsy gardener to confront a thief at her own front door. I appreciate feedback from my readers.

Tuesday, April 1, 2003

Dear Aunt Sister - April 03

When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.

Dear Aunt Sister,

All this sentimentality about Mother's Day makes me sick. I know a lot of mothers who shouldn't be mothers the way they treat their kids. So why are we telling them how wonderful they are, when they're not?

Disillusioned

Dear Disillusioned,

I understand exactly what you mean. Years ago, I was in a restaurant with a couple who had a toddler. He was hungry and wanted his bottle but his mother would place it just out of reach. The baby would reach and stretch and then, give up. His mother would move it closer. When he finally could grasp it, she would slap his hands.

This memory stands out for me for two reasons: 1) I had never seen anyone is deliberately abusive to such a small child. 2) That child did not even cry – which tells me he was used to it. How sad that even mothers like this are celebrated with cards and gifts on Mother’s Day.

It’s a shame that one gets elected to lifetime membership in the motherhood “club” simply by giving birth. Unfortunately, while we live in a society that that mandates tests for everything from driving to citizenship, the only test you must pass to become a mother is biological. All I can offer you as an answer is celebrate those who deserve it. Pray for the others.



Dear Aunt Sister,

Help! My family is ready to move out of our dream house because of our next door neighbor, “Judy.” Judy is so nosey. She constantly calls with such personal questions as, “Where did you go so late last night?” or “Whose car is that in your driveway? I don’t recognize it.” Judy is constantly in our business. Four other neighbors have moved because of this woman!

Aunt Sister, I love my house but I feel abused by this woman. What do I do?

Packing


Dear Packing,

What do you do? Start by growing a backbone, girl! As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” You allow this woman to invade your privacy. You have the power stop it!

Judy craves information; give her none. Be as vague as possible. Or, answer her with questions of your own – in your very sweetest voice, of course. Try “Why on earth would you ask such a thing?” or “Why do you want to know?” That should get you’re your point across.

Saturday, March 1, 2003

Dear Aunt Sister - March '03

When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.

Dear Aunt Sister,

I have a neighbor who picks flowers from my yard. She never asks if she can have them. Sometimes she even pulls up a whole plant.

Other than this, we are on good terms. I don’t really want to confront her, but I do want her to stop.

Bloomin’ Mad


Dear Bloom,

This is a problem in our fair city. I have even heard our merchants complain of people taking entire plants! Once, I had a neighbor put a small coffee can in her front garden with a sign reading “Flowers $1.00.” Her problem did diminish but never quite went away.

It is a frustrating problem. The one who expends the time, effort and money to maintain a garden should be the one to enjoy the garden. With this in mind, why don’t you start watering your garden with your neighbor’s hose? You will only have to do this a few times before she gets the message.

***********

Dear Aunt Sister

My neighbor has the saddest dog you'd ever want to see. He gets feed regularly but that's about it. They don't play with him or pay any attention to him. Why do people have animals if they don't care about them?

Sad


Dear Sad,

I would suggest that you learn the dog’s name. Talk to him through the fence using his name every chance you get. If you know your neighbors, ask if you can walk him. And if you get the sense that they really don’t want the animal, maybe you could take him in or offer to find him a good home.

Considering that people raise their children the same way these days, what do you expect? We live in a time where everyone is so busy and self-centered. They race around all day and yet want some sort of family life when they get home. They adopt animals without thinking about what kind of life the poor creatures will have. But you can make a difference in this dog’s life if you take action.

Saturday, February 1, 2003

Dear Aunt Sister - February '03

When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.

Dear Aunt Sister,

I have wonderful husband who is attentive and loving. My only complaint? I can’t seem to get him to remember Valentine’s Day. Should I let him off the hook for always forgetting this special day?

No Heart-Shaped Candy for Me

Dear Heart,

Maybe he’s just forgetful. Try dropping a few hints as the day approaches.

You have really NO complaint. There are many women out there who would treasure such an attentive and loving man. You should count your blessings. Besides, think of all the calories he’s saving you.

*************************

Dear Aunt Sister,

I have been dating my boyfriend for five years. I want an engagement ring more than anything for Valentine’s Day. How do I get him to pop the question?

Thanks, Anxious Lady In Waiting

P.S. I’m 38 and he’s 40


Dear Lady,

If you’ve been with this man for five years, you should be more than comfortable asking what his intentions are. However, I think you should be asking yourself why you’ve spent five years just “dating” the same man.

Honey, at your age, it’s time to fish or cut bait. Tell him what you want and when you want it. If he doesn’t deliver, move on and don’t look back.


Wednesday, January 1, 2003

Dear Aunt Sister - January 03

When I wrote for the now defunct Foothill Sentinel, I was the ghost writer for the Dear Aunt Sister advice column. When writing the column, I channel my beloved aunt, born in 1913, known affectionately to her five brothers and all their offspring as "Sister." She handled everything with charm, fantastic wit and always a twinkle in her eye.

Dear Aunt Sister,

Yet another Christmas has come and, once again, I have received another sweater that I will never wear. I haven’t worn sweaters since I was in grade school (many years ago). I would take it back to the store, but I know the person who gave it to me would be offended. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Hot blooded


Dear Hot,

It seems there are a lot of people who buy gifts just to have something, anything to give. They are only giving you something to make themselves feel good. I find such grievous gift giving TACKY, TACKY, TACKY! They obviously didn’t care what you thought or they wouldn’t have been so careless choosing your gift. Why do you care so much about offending them? You should take the gift back. How will the present giver ever know if you don’t tell?

*************************

Dear Aunt Sister,

Every New Years, I make my resolutions and they are all broken by the end of the week! What can I do to make me stick to my resolutions?

Perplexed

Dear Perplexed,

Why don’t you make a resolution to keep your resolutions?

Just kidding, dear.

I find that lists work for me. I will make several lists and post them everywhere: On the bathroom mirror, the fridge, by my favorite chair. By keeping my goals where I can see them in black in white, it reminds me daily to stay focused on them.

If this doesn’t work, maybe you need to ask yourself why the resolutions you are making are not that important to you.